The Ultimate Bottle Episode
by Kusco
Summary: AU of Basic Sandwich. Something goes wrong and the group is trapped in the bunker for an extended period of time. All they do do now is deal with the repercussions
1. Chapter 1

"Milady... Milo-"

Just before the thought completed, the light's flickered and went out entirely; not even the emergency lights that had been illuminating the room. Borchart howled and shoved Jeff out of the way, saying something about Rochelle dying without power.

Jeff moved away from the eccentric hobo, fumbling to get the brain scanner off his head as he did. He only made it a few steps however, before he stumbled blindly into the group. The Dean screamed, Britta yelled for him to get off and they all collapsed in a pile of arms, legs, and muscle strains.

Borchart continued to mutter about his machine while they worked on disentangling themselves. A warm body lay atop Jeff's and long hair tickled at his face as the owner tried to move a moment he thought it might be Britta, but then he caught a whiff of the Animal Cracker body wash that Annie used, the kind he'd gotten her for her birthday.

As they all struggled, Jeff's hands instinctively found the small of Annie's back and he tried to roll them away from the human pile they were a part of. All he succeeded in doing was getting Abed's elbow jammed into his ribs and Annie's face pushed right up into his until they were practically touching.

In any other situation, he already knew what would happen. If it weren't for the screaming and the shouting, and the Dean calling out his name he would be feeling awfully tempted. Annie placed a hand on his chest, trying to pull herself free, even though Abed was on top of her. In the end he heard her sigh and resign herself to wait for those on top of the pile to get a clue before she got anymore bruises.

"Annie," he whispered, feeling the faintest of brushes of his lips against the skin of her cheek.

Her head turned and for a moment he thought her lips would slide against his... Then the Dean swung his legs wide in a mighty effort to free himself; which he did, but only by slamming that foot down on Jeff's crotch.

And that was that, they were stuck in Borchart's bunker. The mad scientist explained that the sudden loss of power, probably caused by the school board members, had caused a massive short circuit in Rochelle. He was going to be able to restore emergency power in short order but only then would they know if her emotional components survived.

For the first hour or so they argued back and forth about different plans to get out but nothing seemed feasible. The bunker was built of reinforced steel and pressurized when sealed shut. Nothing less than some tnt or a nuclear bomb would get through it, neither would cell phone signals.

Even though Borchart said it wouldn't work, they all had a go at the emotional wave scanner like Jeff did but with equally dismal results. Even Abed had tried. Jeff had hoped something might happen when he mentioned Molly Ringwald or when Annie brought up Troy... But the machine's face remained as passive as Abed's.

After the first few hours failed things went a little crazy, which was saying something considering the fact that they were trapped in a former computer lab converted into a secret bunker built by a millionaire/lunatic/computer whiz.

The Dean wound up stripping down to his underwear and screaming, Abed went all Hal 9000 on them and tried to read their lips and Britta and Annie got into a fight over whether or not Channing Tatum looked handsome or autistic. Which for the life of him he couldn't figure out why that mattered right now even a little and all the while his head pounded with Britta's bickering aand the fact that the strongest surge of passion he felt was when he was thinking about Annie. It all culminated with Jeff finally snapping, screaming and shoving his enormous frame into Rochelle.

The computer toppled over and erupted in a shower of sparks and smoke and broken dreams.

That had been the first few hours.

They waited out the rest of the day trying to avoid looking at each other and checking their cell phones for any chance of a signal. Jeff had settled next to the door and waited for some sign that Shirley was coming. She and Hickey knew they were down there and the secret entrance wasn't that hard to find.

At some point he fell asleep, only to wake up hours later, feeling a small warm frame snuggled up to him.

Then he opened his eyes and realized it was the Dean.

"Now Jeffrey..." the Dean only slightly released his hold. "Before you get angry just remember that I have the slimmest frame in here and needed a warm body to keep me from freezing."

Jeff threw the Dean off with a disgusted grunt and pulled himself to his feet then gave the room a once over. Borchart sat huddled off to the side, looking somehow more disheveled than before as he worked on Rochelle, Abed sat to another side, fiddling with one of the many computers stashed in the bunker. Jeff breathed a sigh as he stopped himself from getting his hopes up, that's what got him into this mess to start with.

Finally he spotted Britta, quietly snoozing in one of the computer chairs. Jeff smiled at this, there was no way in hell she was comfortable in that chair. Yet somehow she'd curled up in it like some sort of cat. It was about as close to adorable as Britta got.

Jeff moved over to her and lowered a hand to her hair, clearing it away from her face. As a reward for his chivalry, Britta suddenly snapped up and smashed a fist into his jaw. Jeff stumbled away, cupping his chin as Britta somehow rolled over and muttered something about patriarchy then drifted back to sleep.

On the one hand, Jeff realized that after five years and countless sexual encounters, he should have known better than to try something like that. On the other hand he winced, not only at the pain in his jaw, but the idea of waking up to that every morning.

His eyes drifted to the door and he let out another grunt. A minor inconvenience like that didn't matter now. Greendale was gone and Britta was who he chose to replace it with. That was good enough... Wasn't it? If so... Why didn't that damn passion machine work when he looked at her?

But another thought nagged at him, actually it had been tugging at his mind ever since he put that weird headset on. No... Before that... the words of a speech he didn't give echoed in his head any moment he allowed himself to calm down and actually think.

"Where's Annie?" he finally spoke.

"In the laundry room," Borchart, of all people, answered.

"You have a laundry room?" Jeff gave the dingy man a once over.

"I think so?" he said. "I know I designed one in the plans for this place."

"Please tell me you didn't snort the laundry soap when you ran out of cocaine," Jeff muttered as he made his way from the central room into one of the adjoining alcoves.

It didn't take long for him to find the room he was looking for. The bunker was big for one man but it wasn't exactly a vast underground complex. He passed a couple of vacant rooms before he heard the one he was looking for. Modern day washer and dryers were relatively quiet, but this wasn't modern tech and like just about everything else in the seventies, the laundry cleaners were big, loud, and obnoxious.

Not to say finding the room was entirely unpleasant. Shortly after he heard the machines, Jeff caught the scent of soap and water. It wasn't scented soap or anything, probably a beyond generic brand from the a seventies, but the fresh aroma of the soap caused him to breathe in just a bit deeper until he came upon the room he searched for.

If only the rest of the room was so inviting. As the state of Borchart's clothes testified earlier, the laundry room looked like it had spent the last forty years completely abandoned. A thick last of dust caked the walls, the floor and even the ironing board. About the only thing that looks inviting in the room was Annie.

Jeff halted when he saw her, facing the dryer with her back to him. She had removed her jacket, leaving her in her simple dress; which, until now, he had no idea was supported by a thin spaghetti strap on each shoulder. She'd tied her hair back in a loose ponytail and while he watched he caught a gleam of sweat on her exposed skin.

For half a moment, he just stood there, trying to remember why he'd come in at all. More than that , in the back of his mind, a thought echoed... No. Not a thought exactly, a fresh memory... The idea of what he had been on the verge of thinking when he looked at Annie while connected to the thought machine.

A cough from the other room shook him out of it and caused Annie to jump and turn around.

"Jeff!" she said at seeing him standing in the doorway "What are you doing?"

"Looking for you," Jeff said. "But the more important question is... What are you doing?"

"Borchart has a lot of blankets for a creepy hermit who shut himself in for the last forty years," she said, wiping her brow.

"So you're doing his laundry?" Jeff raised a brow. "Cause I gotta say, I don't think he'll notice."

"It's for us Jeff," She said. "We're going to be here a while and I'd prefer any thing I sleep on to not be covered in stray bits of cocaine that he somehow managed to not snort."

"Come on Annie," Jeff said. " It's not going to come to that, once the sale goes through... once Greendale is gone they'll come and let us out."

"They sold Greendale yesterday," Annie said, her voice laced with bitterness. "And in case you haven't noticed, we're still trapped. We're going to be here a while, until Shirley or the others can sneak down or until Chang has a change of personality and betrays Carl and Richie. Either way, we should be prepared for a long stay."

Again for perhaps the thousandth time, Jeff had to admit that she had a point. With a sigh he eyed the laundry machines, seeing that a cycle was just about finished. He neared the washer and gazed in while quietly rolled up his sleeves.

"I thought you were washing bedding," he said. "There's clothes in here."

"Borchart eventually thought he would be able to build a woman's body for Rochelle, so he packed the bunker with clothes that haven't been touched... But I'm not taking any chances."

"Well that will be nice for you, Britta and the Dean," Jeff muttered. "Anything else left to do?"

"I've already run an inventory of our food, medical supplies, and toilet paper rations as well as written out meal plans, cleaning schedules, and a Borchart guard duty rotation so we can make sure he doesn't murder us in our sleep. There are two rooms available to convert into sleeping areas once the bedding is dried."

"Holy crap Annie! I was only out for a few hours, have you slept at all?"

"Some of us have to get things done Jeff," she said. "Regardless as to whether or not others actually care."

"Getting stuff done and caring is what got us into this mess," Jeff said, unable to hold back the bitterness in his voice. "If we'd just allowed Greendale to be the toilet it was always destined to be we would be the in the middle of complaining about double soup Tuesday right now."

"No," Annie shook her head. "We're down here because we trusted cynical, jaded men with our future instead of realizing what we could have accomplished on our own. And now, thanks to them, every day is going to be double soup Tuesday."

"Annie, it's going to be okay."

"For you and Britta maybe," she said, her face hardening. "Abed, Shirley, and me are the ones being left out in the cold. So what do you care Jeff?"

"I care,"Jeff said. "I was the one to volunteer to put the brain machine on."

"I know Jeff, you care, but not in the same way."

"I... I'm sorry," Jeff said, noticing the way Annie's face softened just a bit.

"For what?"

"That we couldn't save Greendale, I know how much you cared about it."

The slight rosiness in her cheeks drained away and her lips pressed together in a thin line. Before Jeff could ask about it, Abed appeared and informed them that the Dean and Borchart were about to get in an argument and Jeff had better intercede before Britta did and made it worse.

Jeff nodded and left the room, just as he turned the corner however, he paused to think of something reassuring to say to Annie. By the time he came up with something he could already here Britta bringing up Guantanamo. He sighed and took a quick step back to the laundry room, only to find Annie buried in Abed's chest.

Britta said something about fascists and Jeff pushed himself out into the main room, trying to ignore the nagging feeling he had about seeing Annie in Abed's arms and trying even hard to forget what he thought about when connected to Rochelle.


	2. Chapter 2

Of course, Annie proved to be right, even though she had hoped to God that she wouldn't be. But two days in and there was still no sign that they would be getting out any time soon. Borchart reported that the earliest they would be getting Rochelle up and running again would be two months. They all tried to impress upon him how important it was that they escape, each trying to convince him to simply try to bypass the door control instead of working on his beloved machine but he would have none of it.

And so they started settling into what Annie might imagine to be her particular version of Hell.

In the bunker, it didn't matter what her reading to comprehension ratio was. It didn't matter if she could dust for prints or quote theoretical physics. Most of the skills she'd acquired over the course of her college career amounted to nothing.

And of course there was the almost overwhelming knowledge that they'd failed to save Greendale that hung over virtually every conversation and nearly every stray thought. For five years Greendale had been Annie's home, she'd sacrificed for it, not just this year as part of the committee, but also since her very first year. She'd left Vaughn because she realized it was where she belonged. Now it was gone.

Now the only way she would ever see the Study Room again was if she dedicated her life to the art of five dollar footlongs, which compared to her drug peddling career almost looked good. Greendale had always been there for her but she'd failed it.

On top of it all, the crowning the indignity of the crap sundae that was her life... There was Jeff and Britta.

Yes, Annie. meant every word of her speech before they were trapped and everything it entailed. She would support Jeff and Britta's ridiculous union and move on from a man that she'd uselessly invested her feelings into for nearly four years. That didn't mean she liked hearing them bicker over every small detail or the gross schmoopiness they got into when they would get depressed about their situation.

She could accept these things on a psychological level, but that didn't stop her from feeling alone whenever Jeff and Britta held hands or kissed right in front of everyone.

Borchart only made it all worse. He would sing love songs to Rochelle. He would recite poems from famous authors about being separated from your love and he'd go out of his way give his own speeches on how love led the way. Even for Annie they were nauseating. And they only madeher hate every second she was forced to be in that small bunker and watch the "Jeffy loves Britta show".

It was like Ground Hog's day for her if that day was the first day of their Anthropology class a few years ago.

And the weirdest, most disturbing thing about the whole freakshow her life had become, was the fact that the person that empathized with her the very most was the Dean. Abed was her closest friend in the bunker, but he formed a somewhat peculiar partnership with Borchart. The two of them spent most their time working on Rochelle together while Abed probed the man for answers about how he gave emotional comprehension to a computer.

So when Jeff and Britta argued over whether they'd have a dog or a cat and what the name of the dog or cat would be, and Annie just wanted vomit in the bathroom... The Dean would sometimes appear and just say things like "I know Annie... I know."

At that point she wasn't sure if she hated herself more for even caring or the fact that she was also being comforted by the Dean.

It was during one of these instances, when Jeff and Britta were arguing with each other about who was more eager to have their credit checked as a necessary step of moving on with their life once they finally got out that something happened to change the depressing monotony.

Abed was the one that somehow heard it. A faint knocking on the wall where the work station connected to the door stood. Jeff and Britta ignored it and went on declaring how much they cared about each other through scowling faces until the knocking happened again and Abed shooshed them.

"Don't you guys hear that knocking?" he said.

"It's probably just some pipes rattling," Jeff said.

The knocking happened again as if to deny Jeff's claim.

"That doesn't sound like random knocks to me," Annie said. "It almost sounds like-"

"That's Morse code Borchart said

"He's right," Abed said then looked to Annie as the others gathered around. "I need a pen and paper."

"You know Morse code?" Britta said. "Since when?"

"Do have to ask?" Jeff said. "Jonny Five probably scrolled through the entirety of Wikipedia in search of more input."

"I think you mean he's Hadji," Britta said.

"That's Jonny Quest you knob!" Jeff said "I'm talking about the robot from-"

"You guys!" Annie cut him off as she handed Abed the pen and paper. "Bigger fish!"

"I've known Morse code since March 11, 2011," Abed shrugged, placing his ear against the wall. " And Jeff's not entirely wrong. There was a lightning storm and our apartment's power went out for a couple of hours while I was in the middle of a T.J. Hooker marathon. I didn't have anything better to do so I learned Morse code and Braille."

Britta fired her sour face at Jeff, who smirked triumphantly. Annie rolled her eyes

"Hold on," Abed started scribbling on the note pad. "It's Morse code alright... It... It's Hickey! He's on the other side trying to communicate!"

All of them cheered and gathered closer. Annie found herself so excited at the prospect of leaving that she didn't even notice how Jeff was squeezed up against her rather than Britta. Though Jeff seemed to take note of the Dean clapping his body against his.

"Abed," Jeff said. "Tell Hickey how to open the door before I have to grab one of our pillows to smother the Dean with."

"I hardly think that's an appropriate thing for an engaged man to do Jeffrey," the Dean said. "Not unless Britta's into it too."

Abed ignored them and proceeded to knock on the door in carefully timed patterns. Finally, he finished the message and everyone huddled together, waiting for the secret door to open and free them. And they waited, and they waited, and they waited. Annie was just about to ask Abed if he sent the message right when Hickey responded with a new set of knocks.

Abed jotted them down and then ran his eyes over the message for a couple of seconds before his face fell. Annie felt a knot twist in her stomach, it had to be really bad for Abed to show facial expressions.

"He can't get the door open," Abed said quietly. "The juke box is burnt out or something."

For a long, heavy moment nobody said anything and as the seconds ticked by, it felt like the same insanity that had consumed them during the first moments of their captivity hovered in the air; threatening to consume them.

"There... There has to be something they can do," Jeff said, call the police or the fire department or something."

Abed shook his head. "The sale to Subway went through, they've already tried going to the authorities but apparently everybody has been making Harry Potter jokes whenever they try to tell them about the Chamber of Secrets that we're trapped in."

"Hairy what?" Borchart said.

"But Hickey's here," Annie said. "If he can get here he can bring others."

"It's going to be really hard," Abed said. "He and Shirley were only able to get down here by disguising themselves as Nerd Herders here to do some maintenance. There's no telling when they might be able get down here again."

"Abed," Britta grabbed his shoulders. "You need to talk to him again, let him know how serious it is down here. I've been discussing paying off my mortgage and I don't even own a house yet!"

Abed nodded and got to work relaying the message. Annie pulled away from the group, knowing full well how this would turn out. She'd been with this group enough to know that the minute they started getting that desperate lilt in their voices and making demands o f Abed... It was over.

Her eyes trailed back the group, hoping that maybe Jeff would break away and give her some sort of Winger speech to buck up but he remained there, crowding Abed for answers just like the rest of them. Annie sighed and shook her head feeling her heart sink as the others reacted to what ever Abed revealed. Slowly she glanced about the room and had to stop herself from wondering if they'd ever get out.

The group eventually bled away from the wall, each wearing various expressions of dismay. Even Abed had his brows furrowed. The Dean looked to be on the verge of crying, and Jeff and Britta had their hands locked tight.

"We could be in here forever," Britta muttered.

"Two years according to Annie's ration schedule," Abed said.

"And even if we get out... It will be to a sandwich university," the Dean said.

"But now we know for sure," Jeff said. "Greendale is gone for good."

"We don't know that," Abed said. "Hickey did say that Shirley had a crazy plan."

"Oh! A crazy plan! And don't you think it says something about how likely it is to succeed that Hickey took the time to spell out 'crazy' in fricken Morse code?" Jeff said. "Look guys, it's time to face reality. We tried going on the silly adventure to save the Looney bin we were in and our reward was to be trapped in a bunker for the next couple of years, all the while Starburns becomes Sandwichvictorian."

"Jeff I think it's best that we hold onto the idea that we can get out soon," Abed said. "Because this already has all the hallmarks of a bottle episode and unlike the last one, there isn't a Puppy Parade waiting for us outside."

"There's nothing for us outside," Britta said. "Jeff's right, it's time to cut our losses."

"Yes," Jeff said and pulled Britta into his arms. "And the best way to cut our losses is to say... I do. Maybe the Dean could perfo-"

A scream nearly loud enough to bring the walls down around them fired out and cut Jeff's speech off and Annie didn't realize it came from her until she had a wrench in her hand and was carving into the drywall by the entrance. Somewhere in the back of her mind she realized she hadn't felt this frenzied since her Adderall days.

But she didn't care. Not at this point, not after two days of all of... All of this!

"You listen to me!" she roared at Jeff or maybe nobody in particular as she attacked the wall. "We are not staying here until Shirley and Hickey get us out ! We are not staying here until we run out of food! We are not even staying here until the swat team breaks the doors down! We are getting out of here as soon as we can! Even if we have to chip away at the freaking metal and concrete with our bare hands until our fingers bleed! We are getting out of this bunker!"

"Annie calm down," Jeff said.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down Jeff Winger! We're stuck down here because we trusted you to activate the thought machine with your goddamned nipple play!"

"What!?"

"Oh come on Jeff! Why else would you have us all look away? You didn't want us to know that you're just as weird and perverse as the nutty professor over there! If we'd put the device on literally anyone else we would be out of here and saved it!"

"How did you even know I'm into..." Jeff started but then looked to Britta who looked to Abed, who had his eyes wide open as he tried to figure out an appropriate facial expression. "... Nevermind, it doesn't matter! I wasn't rubbing my nipples! And I would have had that door open if the power hadn't gone out!"

"Would you now?" Annie threw the wrench down and stalked over to him. "And how was that? Were you thinking really really powerful thoughts about scotch or your cell phone? Because that's why it didn't work, we put our fate in the hands of our group's least passionate member next to Abed. No offense Abed."

"None taken."

"Least passionate?" Jeff said. "At least I'm not the one that got so over passionate that I encouraged a teacher to attack wall with a pick axe and got Duncan electrocuted."  
"At least I was doing something!"

"You mean like attacking the wall with a wrench?" Britta said. "Annie, as a virtually licensed psychologists, I think it would be good for you to acknowledge that letting go of Greendale is the next big step in growing up into the true woman you were meant to be."

"And that would mean something Britta," Annie said. "If you weren't using leaving Greendale as an excuse to be an unbelievable hypocrite."

"I beg your pardon!?" Britta pulled away from Jeff and stalked over to Annie. "And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Now ladies," the Dean stepped in between them. "I think this is getting a little heated."

Both Britta and Annie shoved him aside in perfect unison.

"Well Annie, how am I a hypocrite?"

"Let me answer that question with another question?" Annie didn't break eye contact. "How many rants on feminism have you made me sit through?"

"I..."

"How many times do you think you told me to be true to myself and not define myself by a man? Hell, how many times have you flat out accused me of selling out our entire gender just because I didn't conform to your ideals."

"This is entirely irrelevant..."

"For nearly five years I've always thought, that in spite of your many, many flaws you were like a big sister role model because you were always independent and true to yourself. Even to your own detriment, but as it turns out it's all a sham!" Annie said "Because the moment your sense of security was threatened you mutated into this quiet cloying codependent wasp who attached herself to the first penis that offered her a sense of belonging and a 401K! That's right! I said the 'P' word. That's how real things have gotten!"

"Well you're just jealous," Britta said, but her voice wavered, then she glanced at the remains of Rochelle and seemed to remember what waited for them outside. "If he'd made you the same offer we both know you would have done the exact same thing I did."

"Maybe!" Annie said. "But me running away in a fit of romance with someone I used to like isn't a betrayal of everything I claimed to stand for. God you're unbelievable! You're probably going to serve veal at the reception!"

Britta gasped and for a moment even looked like she might break out into an all out catfight. One that the Dean clearly wouldn't be able to stop. Annie glared into her friend's eyes, ready to dish out as good as she got. But there was the faintest quiver in the older woman's eyes. And suddenly Annie felt a twinge of regret welling up.

"Even if I have..." Annie said, and her voice softened. "Even if I used to have feelings for Jeff, it doesn't change the fact that you sold out your principles because you were scared. I don't recognize this version of you Britta, this isn't the woman that helped teach me to stand up for myself. It's just sad to see what you've done to ignore reality."

"Oh, so now you want reality..." Jeff stepped up behind Britta and put his arm around her, only to have her slip away quietly and stand next to Abed. Jeff watched for half a moment before refocusing on Annie. "... Now that we're stuck below ground in a bunker you want reality and not when we could have just moved on with our lives on the surface."

"I'm the only one in this conversation living in reality Jeff. I'm not the one that's using a wedding to ignore my sense of loss and helplessness because you're afraid of any real emotions you might actually have. All so you could prove to yourself that Greendale doesn't matter to you, that we don't matter to you."

"No, you're wrong!" Jeff entire frame shook with each breath as he towered over Annie. "If I've proven anything over these last five years it's that I do care! I do!"

"We did have to drag you down here kicking and screaming," Abed said.

"You were making Goonies references Abed!"

"And Annie is right that your nipple play didn't get the door open," the Dean said.

"For the last time , I wasn't playing with my nipples!" Jeff through his hands in the air. "And again, I would have gotten the calm door open if it wasn't for the power going out!"

"I guess we'll have to take your word for it," Annie said. "Whatever that's worth."

"Annie, I'm serious, I would have gotten it open!"

"Yeah how?"

"I just would have!"

"Right Jeff keep telling yourself that, this is only the third time you've btried to marry Britta in order to not have to deal with your insecurities. If you can't even figure out a real reason to marry someone, what could possibly inspire real emotion from you enough to open the door?"

"You! Okay! I would have gotten it open because I was thinking of you!"

Half a second after the words left his mouth, Jeff's brain caught up with the conversation. The room sat in stunned silence as Jeff looked from Annie to Britta and back. He opened his mouth like he was trying to come up with a speech but nothing happened and Annie felt her heart racing.  
"A last minute plot twist," Abed said.

"Shut up Abed," both Jeff and Annie muttered.


	3. Chapter 3

eff stared up at the ceiling and it stared back. Well, not the ceiling per say, so much as the creepy 1970's Ronald MacDonald sheets that formed the roof of his blanket fort. He would have liked to have been doing anything else but that would have required that there was something to do, so he just laid on his blanket, with his feet jutting out the entrance to the largest blanket fort any of them had.

With such a tight living space, privacy was at a premium. In order to help, Abed had constructed blanket forts for them to sleep in. It didn't seem like a good idea at the time, but at least he afforded Jeff the largest one. Of course, that wasn't done to take in account that Jeff was twice the size of just about everybody there. No, he had been given the largest so I could share the space with Britta.

Britta, his now ex-fiancée, who had moved into her own blanket fort three days ago. Of course deep down, from the moment he proposed to her, he suspected it wouldn't last, so few marriages do after all. He just sort of figured it would be her leaving their condo and taking the collectors plates rather than moving into the tent in the next room.

Three days and he still kicked himself for what had happened when he couldn't keep his damn mouth shut. But Annie hadn't been pulling a single damned punch and she was hitting way too close to home. Then he lost it and blurted out the secret he had been avoiding himself.  
Which was made it all so much worse. Before he voiced it, he could ignore it and stick to the plan with Britta. Now that he'd said it, he made it something he couldn't help but acknowledge. It was Annie. If the power hadn't gone out, he would have gotten that door open because of his feelings for Annie.

He knew when he had put on the brain scanner that his feelings for the group would do the trick. Maybe it was because Shirley wasn't there, or that Borchart was also in the line up, but looking at them altogether hadn't done it. He thought Britta and their impending wedding would tip the scales but he just... deep down he knew that even though he cared about Britta, it would never work.

So he moved down the line and came to Annie.

It snuck up on him, but once he felt his pulse race and a weird warmth wash over him while he thought about her, he couldn't deny it. If only the power hadn't gone out they would have saved Greendale and he would have another entire year to try and sort out or push down the feelings she stirred up in him.

Instead he was stuck in a bunker and not only did Britta want nothing to do with him. Neither did Annie.

Looking back at it now, Jeff realized there was no way he could have salvaged the situation. He wanted to play the victim, but even he had to admit he more or less deserved everything they dished out on him.

"Let me get this straight," Annie had said once the initial shock had worn off. "You made me watch you and Britta cuddle and pitch woo at each other and all this time you've been harboring feelings for me!?"

"See..." Jeff said. "It sounds horrible when you say it like that."

"Oh, and there's a way to make that not sound horrible?"

"Well of course there is Annie," Jeff held up his hands.

"Okay, go ahead," Annie crossed her arms. "Let's hear it, because you certainly made sure we all heard the two of you making out in the blanket fort as soon as Abed built it."

"You see the thing is..." Jeff had started, fully intending to bolt but then realized there was nowhere to bolt to. "... Ha ha ha! The thing is... It was a revelation to me at the time and I needed to sort through it."

"Oh so you're way of sorting out your feelings for Annie was to stick your tongue in my mouth!?" Britta snapped.

"Yeah Jeff, Congratulations, you made that sound so much better!"

"I think you're all missing the point here," Jeff said. "It doesn't matter how long I've had feelings Annie I..."

"How long!?" Both Annie and Britta shouted at the same time.

It only got worse from there, culminating in Britta ending the engagement, the Dean curling up in a ball and huddling under a desk and Abed declaring that Jeff had been approaching Charlie Sheen levels of grossness. On top of it all, Annie told him never to talk to her again. Something that would have sucked even if she wasn't one of only five people he had the option of speaking with.

So that left Jeff where he was now, in the doghouse… blanket fort staring at the Ronald MacDonald sheets and trying to work out some sort of plan to get back into everyone's good graces.

Unfortunately there wasn't much by way of anything he could use down here to make some sort of grand gesture. He couldn't even send a mass text to let them know how much he cared about them. And that was just the group in general... He still had no idea how to mollify Annie.

With such thoughts filling his head, Jeff was about to try and get to sleep when the faint rustle of his tent caught his attention. A small hand appeared and a moment later, Britta crawled in. Jeff sat up a bit and raised a brow.

"Have to say, you're the second to the last person I expected to come... rustling at my flap."

"Move over," she said.

Jeff narrowed his eyes a moment the scooted his body enough to create a space for her to lie down next to him.

"I mean make room for me to sit you jag!" she snapped and the moment Jeff shuffled his feet out of the way, the Dean and Abed crawled in as well, forcing Jeff to pull his knees all the way to his chest so all three of them could fit.

"Just saying before hand that this is an entirely new level of kinky that I don't know if I'm ready for."

"Oh don't worry, it's only terrifying the first dozen or so times," the Dean said and thankfully nobody pressed him for details.

"So what do I owe the pleasure?" Jeff said. "This is already the most social interaction I've had in the half of this week."

"We need to talk," Britta said.

"You're in luck, I literally have nowhere else I can be ."

"Cut the snark Jeff," Britta said. "This is serious."

"It's about Annie," Abed said and Jeff couldn't help but perk up.

"You need to talk to her," the Dean said.

"Yeah, we already tried that method, remember?" Jeff said."The end result was that the man that hasn't showered or shaved for the last forty years is more popular than me."

"This isn't about you asshole," Britta said. "though the fact that you're making it about you says volumes."

"Sorry, but yeah, it has to be about me," Jeff said. "The last time I made Annie this angry she almost broke my nose. So you can see why I'm not gung ho about chatting her up."

"While I'm always hesitant to echo Britta," Abed said. "In this case she's right. It's not about you Jeff, it's Annie."

"Okay," Jeff said. "What's wrong with her? She may not be talking to me but it's not like there's a lot of room here, she seems fine."

"Take it from someone that's been told he should be fine his entire life," Abed said. "Just because someone fakes a smile, doesn't mean they're fine."

"Annie's really upset about what went down," Britta said. "And seeing how it's entirely your fault, the least you could do is try and repair some of the damage."

"Believe me," Jeff said. "I'd love to but at this point I think it's best if we all cut our losses and wait for Shirley to rescue us. After that and we get some time away from each other maybe..."

Britta sighed and looked to the others. Without a word, they nodded and slipped out of the blanket fort, leaving the two alone. Jeff threw a questioning look her way before she smacked her palm across his face.

"What the hell!?"

"No Jeff, what the hell you!"

"That doesn't-"

"Shut up, I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm not your biggest fan right now..." Britta said.

"The 'suck it Jeff' computer screen message you had Borchart whip up was a bit of a tip off," Jeff said.

"...But the stuff Annie said the other day was spot on. I sold myself out because I was afraid, Abed says that it isn't anything to worry about, that he thinks there's some strange force in the universe that occasionally makes us act out in ways we never would just to create pointless drama and while I don't believe in God, I really think... Sorry, I got sidetracked..."

"Abed's Saint Elsewhere theory will do that to you."

"The point is I'm done with it, I'm back to normal and this place is bad enough with so much unresolved emotion flying about."

"Word's can't be used to describe how much I hate that you started studying psychology," Jeff said and started to make like he was getting comfortable against the wall. "Now if we're done here I have a whole lot of nothing that I'd like to get back to doing."

"Tell me this Winger," Britta said. "Was that spur of the moment douchebaggery back there or were you honest? Could you have opened the door with your feelings for her?"

Jeff didn't answer. He just stared away, trying to fight the moment away from his memory and failing. He remembered every moment of her speech, a Winger speech for all intents and purposes. In that moment she seemed self possessed, mature, and most of all… unselfish. So different from me that all he couldn't help but be taken back by her.

"Oh god," Britta shook her head. "So it's all true. You not only have it for her, you have it bad. Hell of a way to let a girl know you jackass."

"Look, it's not like it's something I planned. And for the record, I played down my…" Jeff sighed. "…My feelings for both our good."

"Oh, and since when do you get to decide what's good for Annie?" Britta said, her voice hitching with anger. "And don't kid yourself, you did what you did for you. Just like everything else."

"Britta, I really don't want to talk about this."

"Yeah, well people in ice water want Hell," Britta snapped. "We're in a never ending bottle episode, so all we have right now is our goddamned emotions to talk about!"

"I don't even get why you're getting in this with me," Jeff said. "If I recall right you were pissed at me because I even had these feelings for her."

"I was pissed because you were making grand gestures of marriage and a relationship with me all the while You've secretly been pining after her and in effect, stringing us both along," Britta shook her head. "But other than the fact that she can do ridiculously better than you… I know that you make her happy so who am I do judge?"

"It doesn't even matter," Jeff said. "She's clearly changed her mind and I'll be lucky if I can get her to say two words to me when all of this is over."

"So that's it?" Britta sat back. "After all that time you spent trying to get into my pants our first year, you're telling me you're going to give up on probably the first girl you've ever actually been in love with just like that?"

"I never said I loved her."

"That's because you have the emotional maturity of a twelve year old," Britta said. "You know, Troy and Annie, for being the youngest members of our group, at least they knew how to actually express what was in their hearts."

"And for a wannabe therapist, you have no idea how to listen," Jeff said. "Things are different now!"

"Jeff, just talk to her! Let things work themselves out!"

"I did talk to her and look what happened! This isn't some game or caper where it's easy to…"

"Easy to… what?"

Jeff rubbed his chin and felt smile coming to his lips.

"I've got it," he looked over to Britta and actually laughed, she merely raised a brow. "It's so simple! It's been staring me in the face all along!"

"Well unless you're talking about that creepy Ronald MacDonald sheet," Britta smiled excitedly. "I would say that you've finally grown a clue and I've successfully therapized you again. Dilemma deleted."

"All I need is access to Borcharts computers and maybe he has some old pictures of Disneyland… then some voice messages from our phones…yeah…"

"Wait… what? Jeff I was just saying that you need to talk-"

"Which was a stupid idea that led me to a good one," Jeff clapped her on the shoulder. "Annie and I are going on a caper! You're fantastic Britta, I'll never call you a shrewish and overbearing future cat lady again!"

"Hey!" Britta managed as Jeff whisked out of the blanket fort, carelessly knocking it down on her as he left.


	4. Chapter 4

"You sure you read this thing correctly?" Annie said with a note of irritation in her voice.

Jeff looked away from the map then back at her. The clock was ticking. She'd given him ten minutes and already looked ready to split. At the very least she was talking to him, he counted that as a win. Granted, she only spoke to him about the map and the potential secret escape route he'd 'found', but he still counted it.

"Sure, look," Jeff said, holding the map toward her just enough that she would have to lean closer to him, maybe even brush against the biceps he knew she had a thing for. "According to this map I found in one of Borchart's old computers, the fire escape stairs were located in the computer storage room. The one that Borchart converted into the pantry as it was the largest room."

Rule one of lying. Always use just enough truth to make it convincing.

And Jeff was surprised at just exactly how much truth he'd been able to find to hatch this little scheme. It had taken him a couple of days to get it all together, using one of the spare computers and Abed's help to create a convincing lay out of the bunker. In order to not rouse Annie's suspicions he worked at night when she slept; sometimes working until he heard her get up in the morning to do her daily inventory of their rations. On top of that, he managed to look up Borchart's redesigns of the area when he converted it into his bunker. The computer lab really was the pantry. There just wasn't a secret fire escape stairwell.

That had been the easy part. The hard part was convincing Annie to go along with the entire thing. Honestly, with as frosty as she treated him at the moment, it was a wonder he didn't have hypothermia, or at least frostbite.

But none of that mattered now. He managed to talk her into coming with him and he planned fully on taking advantage of it.

"Look," he said. "All I know is that when I was trying to find some sort of old school computer game or even typing tutor on Borchart's computers, I stumbled onto this map. Maybe there's nothing to it, or maybe this is our only ticket out of here. All I know is that as the smallest person here, you'll have the best chance at fitting through any cramped spaces."

"Glad you found a use for me," she muttered, walking around a shelf they'd already circled twice until she came to the wall where the hidden passage way was supposed to be."

"Maybe there's a secret latch or a hollow in the wall," Jeff said, laying his head against the wall and rapping his knuckles on it. "Remember that time we had to squeeze into Troy and Abed's blanket fort in order to catch Professor Professorson? We made quite the team."

"I remember we were on that chase because you were trying to trick everybody," Annie said.

"But look what great times we had?" Jeff said, pulling his head away from the wall. "If we can just pull together, maybe we can figure this out!"

"Or maybe you just think I'm stupid."

"I think we all knew you weren't stupid within the first week of the study group forming Annie," Jeff looked to her. "And I'm pretty sure that the last five years has borne that out."

"Really?" Annie said, her arms crossed. "Well clearly you don't think too much of me to drag me out here on some ridiculous caper."

Jeff's heart skipped a beat. She knew? How could she know? No, she didn't know, she was just being justifiably suspicious.

"Annie," Jeff shook his head. "You really think that after what happened a few days ago? That I would do something like this? I brought you out here exactly because you're the smartest and the most likely to help me crack this mystery. Just like we did the Ass Crack Bandit, or our yam project a couple of years ago."

"Okay Jeff, stop. Just stop!" Annie said. "I know what you're doing right now. There is no secret passage way! If there was, Borchart would have told us, and on top of that, you forgot to adjust the date on the program you had Abed make this map on. It says you wrote it yesterday."

Jeff's eyes went to the paper in Annie's hand and the insides of his chest settled down deep in his gut. For some reason he thought he could hear Britta calling him a dumbass again. All he could do for a minute is look at the papers and then back at Annie while his mind raced to figure out a way to make her believe in what he had thought to be a clever ruse.

He didn't have the time, however, to do that as Annie finally rolled her eyes and started for the door. Before she could get in more than a few steps, Jeff's brain kicked in and he ran in front of her, stopping her cold. Though the glare she fired at him might have been enough to melt the door down.

"Hold on Annie, just… just hold on," he said. "I have a perfectly good explanation for this."

"Do you?" Annie said. "Because I'm pretty sure the explanation is that you thought that if you and me went on some crazy adventure together, I would forget all about what happened over the last week and things would go right back to normal between us. Well news flash Jeff, we're trapped in an underground bunker that was once the lab of a mad scientist. Normal threw itself out the window a long time ago."

"Longer than the last week," Jeff muttered then refocused onto her. "Look Annie, just… just please give me a chance to explain myself."

"Why should I Jeff?" Annie said. "That's the only real explanation I want right now. Why should I even give you the time of day? What you've proven over and over again, and especially with this last stunt is that you only care about yourself? So why should I give you the ego boost of listening to you?"

"This isn't about my ego," Jeff said. "You think I went to all of this trouble just to make myself feel good about myself? I was trying to fix things between us, I was doing it because I care about what you think of me."

Annie shook her head and flashed a humorless smile. "I've heard that one before, and yet, for all this talk about caring about me, you sure didn't have a problem making out with Britta with me being just a couple of feet away."

"Okay, well that was pretty bad," Jeff said. "But in my defense, the school was being shut down and I was grasping for any type of security I could find."

"Yeah?" Annie said. "Then how do you explain our anthropology class?"

"What?"

"This isn't just a one time thing Jeff," Annie said. "If it was, I might have forgiven you by now. You've known how I used to feel about you for a long time. I think I made it pretty clear on our first day at school after the Tranny Dance. But did you care? No, instead you made out with Britta practically on top of me, all to protect your own image around campus. And I accepted your apology at the time, but you've proven over and over again that you don't care if you step all over me just to get whatever you actually want."

Jeff winced at both the recalled memory, and the words 'used to'. He opened his mouth to try and come up with a defense but none readily came. But he only needed a couple of seconds, he had the gift for gab. If he just kept talking he could win her over, no different than a stubborn juror.

"Annie," He said. "I know I've been horrible with stuff like that, but I can't change what I did or who I am. I mean let's be realistic here, I'm not exactly boyfriend material and I was just trying to protect you from a bad situation. You know how bad I am at this sort of stuff."

Annie shook her head. "I was never asking for you to get on bended knee for me Jeff, you want to know what I've wanted from you, what I've wanted from you for almost the entire time we've known each other?"

Jeff shook his head, feeling like the very walls would close in on him at this point. This was entirely the opposite of what he imagined happening.

"All I ever wanted was honesty. For as much as you like to rag on Britta, at least you always respected her enough to be upfront with her. She always knew where you and she stood," Annie's voice trembled just a bit. "I never got that. Never. With me, it was always some cloak and dagger game."

"Oh come on Annie, it wasn't like that."

"Oh no?" Annie stepped up to him. "Tell me Jeff, did you not want Rich in the Study Group because you didn't like him or because you didn't like him with me?"

"Well Annie, you see the thing about Rich-"

"Or tell me Jeff," Annie took another step toward him. "Did you hate the Black Rider because he was handsome or because _I_ thought he was handsome?"

"Now he… had a big chin-"

Annie finally stopped, just in front of him so that she had to crane her neck to look into his face, her blue eyes practically blazing at this point. "Did you team up with me all those times because you wanted to get close to me, or was it just some self serving ulterior motive?"

"That really was a banana in my pocket during Hot Lava… mostly…" Jeff said but Annie shook her head.

"And I just shudder to think of the way you must have treated Abed after we made out."

All of the defenses Jeff had been coming up with in his mind suddenly ground to a halt.

"Wait… what? You made out with Abed?"

"It was when he was Han Solo," Annie rolled her eyes. "I guess you didn't know about that one. The point is, for every time you and I got close, it only lasted a moment before you denied that it meant anything. After a while the mixed signals got more than a little frustrating."

"In my defense," Jeff said. "It's not like you didn't send your own mixed signals. Making out with Abed, calling me your uncle to your other friends I've never met."

"You only just found out about Abed," Annie said. "And you know why I called you my uncle? Because half the campus thinks you and I are a thing and I wasn't going on any dates because nobody wanted to ask out Winger's Girl."

"Annie… I…"

"And yet, even with all of that, all I ever wanted was to know if you wanted me. If you didn't, then great, let's be friends and enjoy our time together. If you did? Let's get coffee sometime and see where things go."

"But don't you see? Eventually I would have screwed it up with you," Jeff said. "And you would have wanted nothing to do with me."

"That happened anyway," Annie said with a tone of finality.

"Annie…"

"I think you should leave," she said. "I need to be alone right now and this is the only place in the computer lab with any real privacy. Don't worry Jeff, I'll be fine and you know how to take care of yourself."

"Annie, I can't just leave it like this," Jeff reached out for her shoulder but she took a step back.

Jeff's own hands quivered as he watched her turn away from him. As he saw her fighting back her own emotion. He could think of plenty of crappy romantic scenarios that Abed might have listed in romcoms where he could just sweep her off her feet and kiss her to show her how he felt, but he knew the difference between that and real life. He'd had his chance with her dozens of times over but he'd blown it.

The least he could do now is leave her alone like she wanted.

Silently he made his way to the exit and stepped out into the main room. Britta, Abed, the Dean, and even Borchart looked at him with nervousness and anticipation but he shut them out and looked back to Annie, with her back to him. At the very least now she would be able to move on.

"It's over guys," Jeff turned back to them. "I… I'm going to be in my blanket fort."

"That… that's the saddest thing I've ever heard since the time that Pierce had his heart broken by Majel the Lunch Lady," the dean said.

"Wait…" Borchart said. "Who?"

"It doesn't matter," Jeff said and walked to the crazy scientist. "Rochelle, How close are you to fixing her?"

"Ohh… we still have a while to go," Borchart combed a hand through his beard. "I just bypassed the initial circuitry, then I have to convince Pierce to let me access Rochelle's programming."

For a moment, thoughts of how badly he'd screwed up with Annie completely disappeared from Jeff's mind. For a moment, the only thing in his brain was the fact that a man that had been locked away for over forty years had just referenced a recently deceased frenemy.

"Who?" Abed said. "Who did you say?"

"Not a who so much as what," Borchart said. "In order to get to Rochelle I have to convince my security program to allow me access. The Program Installed Entirely to Repel Charlatans and Extortionists… or P.I.E.R.C.E. as I like to call it."

"This has to be a joke," Britta said. "Dean, is this some twisted thought experiment orchestrated by you and Duncan?"

"If so there would be way more dog collars and cowbells involved," the Dean said.

"This can't be a coincidence," Jeff said. "You went through a lot of mental gymnastics to come up with an acronym that spelt Pierce."

"Well the program was designed after and named in honor of a business partner that I once had," Borchart said. "A one, Pierce Hawthorne, he was very interested in the prospect of video games and gave me my first initial boost that I needed to invent the 9 track."

"Jeff, as someone that's been there, this is what losing your mind feels like isn't it?" Abed said.

"Ask your evil doppelganger," Jeff muttered as he approached the machine.

Borchart squeaked and jumped in between them. Clearly he hadn't forgotten how Jeff had shoved Rochelle over when all of this started. Jeff fought back the temptation to brush him out of the way as easily as he had when they first met. He was going to get the door open, but he had to do it right this time.

"I promise I won't break anything," Jeff said. "But if anyone can get past Pierce it's one of us," Jeff said.

Borchart looked from Jeff to the others and then back at his computers before letting out a sigh and leading Jeff over to the main computer terminal. With a few keystrokes, the black screen flickered to life and some classic Atari-like digital music queued up before a pixilated rendering of a young Pierce Hawthorne appeared on the screen. Jeff shook his head then glanced to Borchart.

"Just answer his questions with complete honesty," Borchart said. "If you're lying, or not sincere he'll know and lock you out."

"Um…" Britta said. "This is counting on sincerity… is it really the best idea to let Jeff have a crack at it?"

"Yeah, cause none of you have made a habit of lying," Jeff said as he looked at the screen and hit enter. A moment later a question appeared under Pierce's image.

**What is your name?**

Easy enough, Jeff typed his name. The computer processed for a moment before the words disappeared and a new message scrolled across the screen.

**Jeff is a gay name. Do you know that you're gay?**

Jeff rolled his eyes. Something's never changed.

" No."

**If you say so, you'll have to admit the truth one day.**

"Next question."

**If you had to pick between a girl that was hot, or a girl that was just okay but perfect in every other way, which would be the right choice?**

Jeff frowned for a moment, wondering where the hell this was going. Knowing Pierce it would be a trick question, so Jeff answered the opposite of what he thought Pierce would say.

"Just okay."

**Wrong! Hot! Always go for the hot one, she can learn to be awesome in other ways, the just okay one will just get saggy boobs.**

A small 'X' appeared on the top right of the screen. Next to it, the faint outline of two more spaces for 'X's appeared. Did this mean he only had three tries? That wasn't good. Jeff glanced over his shoulder to see the others crowded around, watching.

"Borchart…" he said. "What happens if I get this wrong?"

"Oh… um… I'm not entirely sure? I never failed at it, but I always took the in depth month long version so I could really think about my answers," came the reply. "But we can assume it's bad, anything from the system shutting down to the room exploding."

"Great," Jeff sighed. "Next question."

**Have you told your parents you're gay?**

"No. Next real question."

**Let's say you one day bump into the Pope and you help pull a splinter out of his butt from sitting in his pope chair, and he grants you 1 wish. Peace in the Middle East, or millions of dollars in pope jewels, which would you chose?**

Jeff raised a brow at the odd specificity of the question, but in the end and only shrugged, the answer was obvious in this case.

"Peace."

The picture of Pierce changed yet again to him looking quite sternly out at Jeff and another 'x' formed in the corner of the screen. Jeff heard the others groan. Furiously he typed his own question into the computer.

"That's not fair! How did you know I was lying!?"

**I didn't, you just admitted it dimwit. Ha!**

"Borchart I may have lied about not punching your computer again," Jeff grumbled.

**Last question, are you ready?**

The machine clicked and for a moment, Jeff worried he was about to earn another 'x' since even though he knew it wasn't the case, it seemed to be reading his mind… but the screen only transitioned to another picture of Pierce before new words scrolled across the screen. Jeff eyed them and he almost wished it had been another gay joke.

**Have you ever been in love?**

"Maybe…" Jeff said. "Maybe one of you guys should try this."

"Yeah," Abed said. "Because I'm going to do so much better than you once the computer is asking him if I want to hijack a plane."

"Just answer the question Winger," Britta said.

"What's going on?" Annie's voice suddenly came from the far side of the room.

Jeff stiffened up and his fingers fumbled on the keys. His heart pounded and he heard the others shuffling over to Annie to fill her in. He was left staring at the screen and only just realized that he'd typed 'yes' and the picture of Pierce had changed to one of the crazy millionaire looking curious.

**What's his name?**

"You've got to be kidding," Annie said as she drew near. The previous question and answer had just disappeared but Jeff still felt strange, like a cornered animal or something. This didn't get any better as the group now crowded around him again, with Annie pushed right behind him, close enough that he could see her out of the corner of his eye.

"Her."

**Sure, 'her' whatever you say…**

On the screen where the final 'x' was outlined, half an 'x' appeared.

"It can give out half an 'x'?" Jeff threw his hands in the air.

"Jeff will you start doing it right?" Britta said.

"This computer is just trying to get you to open up," the Dean said.

"I can't believe we let him do this again," Annie rolled her eyes.

Jeff looked to Borchart, "This isn't fair! You didn't tell me that this thing would find a way to get inside of my brain!"

"I don't know Jeff," Abed said. "The moment you learned it was based on Pierce you should have seen it coming. I know I did."

"Thanks Abed," Jeff muttered then looked at the screen, and then back over his shoulders at the others. "Would you mind giving me some space?"

With a general grumble the group shuffled away from him and he looked at the screen, immediately glaring at the way Pierce seemed to stare back knowingly. This didn't make any sense! Jeff hadn't even been born when this thing was programmed. How did it seem like he was having a conversation with a man that hadn't even been dead a year.

"Different question," Jeff typed.

**Have you told her how you feel? **

Pierce's face shifted until he was looking at Jeff with one of those rare looks of understanding. Jeff heard Annie clearing her throat as she whispered with somebody else and he forced himself to not think about her. He forced himself to try and think of what he could tell Pierce that would get him past the quiz. To get him access to Rochelle so he could finally get out of here and back to Green…

No… Greendale was gone. The job Subway had offered him was likely gone. He was leaving this bunker and he would never see his study room again. Never see Abed and Britta or Shirley or even Chang and Hickey around that table. And then it hit him. No. He would see them again, the only one that he might not see anymore was…

Without entirely realizing it he turned around and stared right at Annie. She spoke in hushed tones to Britta, but after a couple of seconds her eyes drifted his way and whatever she had been whispering disappeared on her lips. Lips he realized he would never…

He tried to push the feelings away but Pierce's questions still echoed in his head and the words of their horrible conversation during his asshatted caper came back. If he really wanted to, he would keep his relationship with the rest of his friends, but the one relationship that clung closest to his chest… was gone.

Annie looked like she was about to say something but Jeff spun around and typed his answer.

"No."

**Why?**

"Because I'm a coward and she deserves better."

For a moment it almost looked like Pierce nodded but that was crazy.

**That's why I lost my third wife. And that was very honest. Maybe you should consider opening your heart Jeffery. Maybe you should open your heart.**

"I will. So just give me the final 'x', so we can get this over with."

**You want to fail? Why?**

Jeff glanced over his shoulders, with the way he hunched over the screen, nobody could see the answers he was giving.

"Because if I'm stuck here… it's the only way I can be with her anymore and I can't stand the thought of not having her in my life."

**Gay.**

Jeff's eyes shot to the corner, where he expected that half 'x' to complete itself, but instead the screen completely winked out. He stepped back, only to see the entire computer light up and at the top of the module, the passive face of Borchart's computer reappeared.

"Rochelle!" Borchart squealed and embraced the machine before hugging Jeff. "You did it you did it!

"Does that mean she's online?" Britta said. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

Jeff just stared at the computer screen. Of course Pierce would give him exactly what he didn't want. He let out a sigh and then looked back at the others, their faces lit up with the prospect of getting out, even Annie looked excited. He knew what would happen if they left… but at this point, after basically opening up his emotions to a computerized Pierce… he knew what he had to do, even if he knew what the end result would be.

"Give me the headset," Jeff said. "I'll get us out of here."

"Um… maybe someone else should try," the Dean said.

"No," Jeff said. "This is something I have to do."

"So you want us all to turn our backs again?" Abed said.

"No," came the answer but Jeff wasn't looking at him. "But I need everyone to leave the room except for Annie."

"Jeff, I don't think that's a good idea," Annie said.

"Just one last time," Jeff said. "You only ever have to listen to me this last time…. Please."

Slowly, reluctantly, Annie met his gaze and then gave the faintest of nods. The others shot Jeff uncertain looks as they left but he'd managed to get past Pierce so apparently they thought he'd earned his second chance. As they shuffled into the pantry, he drowned them out of his vision so he could concentrate on Annie.

"So you have me alone again," Annie said. "Any reason you couldn't say whatever it is you're going to say in front of the others?"

"Because I know what it's like for people to blurt out their feelings in front of a crowd," Jeff said. "And I don't want to put you on the spot any more than I have to"

"Oh…" Annie said, somewhat surprised already.

"But that… that's beside the point… what I really need you to know is that… you were wrong about me Annie," he said, ignoring her startled reaction. "All these years you've thought I was someone cool, someone who deep down was good, but I'm not. I'm selfish and a taker. I found this crazy group of people, and I took and I took. I took because the Study Group, even with all of the craziness, made me feel like a whole person for the first time in my entire life."

"Jeff I don't understand what this has to do with me," Annie said.

"Because of all the members of the Study Group," Jeff answered. "You're the one I took the most from. I knew how you felt about me and I took the stolen glances and the lingering hugs, and adoring praise because it fed my ego. It made me feel like I already was the guy I wanted to be. But because I'm selfish, I never let you know how I felt unless I thought you were giving that to someone else. I took from you any chance to move on because I was selfish, because I was vain, and because I was afraid.

"So I pushed you away, I humiliated you, I made you feel pathological, but this… this more than anything else, I need you know; as wrong as you were about me… in one way you were also right. Because it was never just you," he said. "After that damn debate kiss I could never just look at you like a little girl unless I forced myself to. Every year I thought it would go away over the summer, but then I'd have day dreams about you and me together when I wasn't trying, and more and more, as hokey and cornball as it sounds, when I looked into my heart, I saw you there. There really was an 'Annie of it all'."

"Then why… why didn't you say anything?" Annie said, her face furrowing in sadness and anger.

"Because I knew that if I let things play out the way I really wanted to, the way you wanted to, eventually, I was going to have to open up to you and you would finally see me for who I really am: A shallow, jaded, liar, who's afraid almost every day that he'll turn into his father. I was afraid that if you really saw that guy, you would stop looking at me the way you did and I'd be left with nothing. But as you pointed out earlier, that wound up happening anyway."

Jeff knew the others were probably watching out of the cracks in the door, that they had heard every word but he didn't care. He just kept his eyes locked on Annie, realizing that he'd finally come to the end. The part that was going to end his current relationship with Annie no matter what she said to him. He took a deep breath, knowing that he had to do it, the bunker didn't matter now. Getting out didn't matter. All that mattered was the woman in front of him.

"So here's honesty," Jeff said. "The first time I put this headset on, I looked at every one of you and thought of what you mean to me, and each one made me feel horrible. I thought of the Dean believing I was there to save him when I really only intended to con him so I could sue Greendale. I thought of Britta and me running away together but knew I was just using her to hide from my feelings. I thought of Abed being Abed and remembered how I just dismissed him."

"Jeff…"

"But with you… with you there was only one thing in my mind," he said, feeling suddenly short of breath. "Two words that summed up all my feelings for you and what used to be yours for me. Two words and I think you know what they are."

Jeff knew she probably hated him but for just a moment he thought he saw a glimmer of that look she used to give him. The one he'd been talking about, the one that made him feel whole, even without the study group. He cleared his throat.

"Milady…"

Annie shook and her eyes rimmed with tears as she opened her mouth then shut it. He tried to take a step forward but the cord from the headset stopped him. He could only watch as she locked eyes with him and took a deep breath then her lips parted so she could say-

"Annie's Boobs!" Abed blurted out and ran into the room.

Jeff swore he heard a record scratch somewhere as he was jolted out of the moment. Annie turned from him as well and gasped as they both watched Troy's monkey run across the floor and leap up onto Abed's shoulder, chirping happily to itself as it held out a piece of paper.

"How did a monkey get into my bunker?" Borchart said as the others rushed into the room.

"Air vents," Abed said.

"Of course!" Annie walked away from Jeff, still hooked to the machine. "A bunker this size would have to have a well regulated air circulation and filtration system. Good guess Abed!"

"It wasn't a guess," Abed said. "The note he has with him says as much, it also says for everyone to get away from the door about five minutes ago."

"Five minutes ago?" Britta said.

"Monkey's are notoriously bad at delivering messages," the Dean said matter-of-factly.

"So wait…" Jeff said. "Does that mean we need to step away from the door now?"

"Hmm, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy got a message like this from Scotty when he freed them in the justifiably underrated Star Trek V," Abed said. "Of course that was because he was about to blow up the wall."

In the space of a couple of breaths, all of them looked at the worktable that disguised the door and then scrambled to get away. Well, except for Borchart, he just clung to Rochelle screaming while the rest of them ducked out of the way; even Annie's Boobs found a corner to hide in.

After a few moments the group stopped staring at the door and looked to each other. Jeff let out a sigh, why was it that he never had the instinct to duck and cover at the drop of a hat until he came to Greendale? The others looked similar sheepish and or exasperated. For all they knew, Annie's Boobs had stolen that paper and it was a message meant for someone else.

Then, a sudden blast of sound and movement came from the door. For half a second, Jeff thought it might be the explosion, but instead it turned out to be the crappy 70's funk music that announced the door was opening. Jeff remained rooted in place, unable to believe that they were finally getting out.

In fact, the cynical jaded part of him said that it would be Richie and Carl again, come to gloat and throw Shirley in with them. And as it turned out, he was almost right. At least as far as Shirley was concerned.

"Brit-ta? An-nie?" a familiar and motherly voice called out. "Hello? Jeffery? Abed?"

"Told you we should have used the dynamite," Hickey muttered as he came in.

Britta was the first to step out from her hiding place, she barely managed to utter Shirley's name before the woman screamed with excitement and almost tackled her in a massive motherly hug. Annie and Abed came running out next with the Dean following close on their heels. Finally Jeff scrambled to his feet and joined them; wrapped in a group hug before he even knew what was happening.

And then it all became so surreal for him. They were actually, really, finally leaving! The door stood wide open with Hickey merrily gesturing the way with one hand. They followed Shirley out while she chatted to them excitedly. Every step accompanied a new tale from Shirley of how she had worked to free them. Each scheme she tried seemed crazier than the next, culminating in her account of how she challenged James, the Subway Rep, to a sandwich baking competition for control of the school.

Somehow that had worked and Shirley was now Dean of Subway University, soon to be Greendale again.

Before Jeff could wrap his mind around that craziness, he found himself in front of the entrance leading to the faculty lounge where this had all begun. Suddenly he felt his heart rate pick up and his whole body quiver. They were doing it! They were finally about to leave!

A ladder had been put in place and the light from above almost seemed blinding but he didn't care, he could only wait nervously for his own turn to go up. When he finally did he was stunned to see the lounge full of his fellow Greendale Human Beings. Neal, Vicki, Magnitude, The Human Being, Quendra, Pavel, Starburns, even Leonard, all stood their clapping and cheering as they finally came out.

Reporters from the Gazette and the Mirror snapped pictures and asked for comments, Chang, Richie, and Carl stood off to the side, locked in a pillory. He knew that was massively illegal but he didn't care one bit right now! He could actually look out the window and see sunlight! Actually he couldn't, it was cloudy and over cast but he would take it! It was weather! But there wasn't just weather! A buffet of fresh food! And that weird smell you only smelt at Greendale! He was… he was home!

But since it was Greendale, something had to come and ruin it, because soon enough, Shirley led them to the Study Room where the entire thing had been decorated for a wedding. The room was adorned with flowers, fancy tablecloths and even a big cake complete with miniature Jeff and Britta at the top. The moment they stepped in, the jovial mood iced over.

"Um… Shirley," Jeff said then glanced to Britta.

"We're not getting married," Britta said. "Ever."

Before Shirley could reprimand them for being jack assed fools or Hickey could make some sort of comment about them being cowards, Duncan sauntered in, knocked the miniature Jeff off the cake and looked straight at Britta with an excited gleam in his eye.

"Glad to hear it! Britta…" Duncan said and held out his hand. "…Let's do this thing!"

'Dave' immediately played out of Starburns' stereo and the room erupted into cheers and dance and before Britta could even really react, Duncan had swept her off her feet. Jeff narrowed his eyes for a moment, not at the fact that Duncan was making a play for Britta, but rather the fact that apparently during their time underground, Duncan had apparently really learned how to cut a rug. Maybe it was the electroshock? At any rate, Jeff let out a sigh of relief, even though Shirley still fired him an evil eye. She would let him have it later, but for now everyone apparently decided that they were going to just celebrate.

The music continued to play and Jeff soon looked around. As happy he was that the situation with the wedding was defused. It brought to the fore of his mind something much more important. The whole reason there was no wedding in the first place. And try as he might though, he couldn't find Annie. Jeff made his way through the room to maybe get a better view, she was awfully short after all… but still she didn't appear to be there.

His brows wrinkled tightly together as he searched. She couldn't have left could she? Did she see the wedding decorations and leave? He started pushing people out of the way in order to get to the hallway. He couldn't let her leave like this, he had been about to finally reach her down there in the bunker! If she got away now she may never talk to him again, she could go anywhere… do anything.

At this Jeff paused, wasn't that a good thing? He'd acknowledged that he'd held her back with the way he'd acted over these last five years. If he tried to make her stay just so he could try to be with her when she wasn't interested… how was that any different? Maybe… maybe he needed to do the exact opposite of what he actually wanted to do at this moment.

"She's outside," Abed's voice came and Jeff jumped a little to see his friend standing right next to him.

"What?"

"Annie is out on the quad," Abed said. "By the Luis Guzman statue. She told me a few days ago during a three minute conversation that she didn't care what the weather was like, once she got out of the bunker she was going to go and enjoy being outdoors and get some fresh air."

"Abed…" Jeff said, his voice full of wonder.

"You see my value now?" Abed said.

"Of course," Jeff cracked a grin. "A call back to our 'pilot'."

Abed nodded and winked then slapped Jeff on the shoulder, giving him a slight shove toward the door. Jeff broke free of the other students crowding in to the party and set out toward the quad. With each foot he picked up the pace just a little bit. His doubts stayed a few steps behind, left in the hallway, forgotten by the time he reached the doors, and lost by the time he came into the quad. He didn't care that it looked ready to rain buckets.

His eyes caught the statue first, then standing near it, he spotted her. At this point he tried to stop himself from racing to her, he might be acting like a complete love struck fool at the moment but he wasn't going to look like an idiot if he could help it.

"Annie!" he called as he reached her and she turned around, her big blue eyes gleaming with excitement.

"Jeff!" she smiled at him. She actually smiled! "Jeff we're out! And Greendale is saved. It's like a dream!"

"It is, isn't it…" he nodded, noticing that she of course still wore clothes she'd gotten from the bunker. This ensemble, interestingly enough, included a yellow cardigan. Apparently some things never went out of style. "…Annie… we never finished our conversation in the bunk-"

Before he could finish his sentence a thunder crack cut him off and rain began to pour down on them. Instead of running for cover, Annie laughed and held out her hands, loving every second of something that she couldn't get down in the bunker. Jeff continued fighting the urge to do anything but wait. He may have wanted to kiss her, but things had to be on her terms now.

"Annie," he said after both of them were soaked. "Maybe we should go inside."

"You can go inside if you want to Jeff," she looked at him with a bit of a glare and the hopeful feeling he'd gotten started to wither in his chest.

"I…"

"I'm going to be out here a little longer," she said then met his eyes. "And maybe after that… we can have coffee."

"Coffee?" Jeff said slowly… then his mind locked onto her earlier reference to the beverage. Suddenly his face lit up. "Yeah. I'd love to, I'll go to Shirley's shop and get a pot brewing right now if it isn't already."

"It's just coffee Jeff," Annie said but she wore a knowing smile.

"I know," he nodded and made for the door. "I'll see you inside… Annie."

"I'll see you in a bit…" she said and then waited until he was inside. "… Milord."


End file.
